I fell into a hole of despair. That’s all that I can explain it as. Over the last two days. I have started to crawl my way out of it, well mostly out out of it. Enough so that I can get myself pumped up enough to get back to work tomorrow. So that’s a plus. I don’t feel well. But I am not sure if I didn’t feel well, and that’s what made me depressed, or if I was depressed and that’s what made feel not well. I just couldn’t people either. Too much of that at work. I cleared off my schedules and let myself fall deep into the hole.
I have vacation coming up soon. I think that is going to be exactly what my body, mind, and soul needs.
I’ve got myself sitting up, off the couch. Sipping on some turmeric tea. Tonight it consists of about 1 tsp ground turmeric root powder, dash of apple cider vinegar, a couple twists of the grinder of ground pepper, a dash or two of lemon juice, and hot water. Usually if I drink this, I drink this in the morning and I normally also add 1 tsp of matcha. Since it’s evening, I decided to pass on caffeine. I’ve been drinking variations of this tea for a few months now. I definitely see some positive side effects. My period is shorter and much more regular. I think it has improved my moods, however I still sink into a hole of depression every now and then. But not as much and not as often. And I think that’s ok. It’s good to feel. I am learning to embrace the feelings but not get lost in them like I used to. I also feel energized when I drink it. Enough so that I no longer drink coffee like I used to. I used to drink lots. Now I will have it on occasion.
I’ve also been eating Paleo for about 2 weeks now. And I have lost a couple of pounds. Now I am back to the weight I was a few weeks ago, when I was trying and then quit. It’s been a little bit of a yo-yo. I’m feeling pretty positive about this. So from the end of April I am officially down 19 pounds. My weight fluctuates so much that I am only going to step on the scale once a week. My 2nd goal from today is 29 pounds. We shall see how long it takes to hit it. No racing. Just letting it come off. In the meantime I will continue to skip the donuts and other treats that are brought into work, no fast food (a big weakness of mine), no processed foods, no wheats, no carbs, no added sugars. You know what? It sounds like a lot of “no’s” but, I am actually quite amazed on how much you can have. And how satisfied and full you feel. None of this feeling like crap like you do after too much crappy food, that I’ve felt way too many times. I don’t miss that.
You know what? It’s early enough in the evening. I think I shall take a stroll. That is good for the soul. Bonus – the puppies will appreciate it. Also, burn calories – extra bonus.
*Back from my walk. For fun, I decided to try and remember and lay out all of the different ways I’ve tired to lose weight.
– purging (laxatives, making myself throw up (dark road to be on)
– starving myself (horrible idea, horrible)
– weight watchers
– ideal protein diet
– count calories
– slow carb
Tried working out a ton and eating whatever I wanted. Starving myself and working out a ton. I think if it’s something that exists I’ve tried it.
My body for sure needs a reboot. Just like my blog. I watched a documentary the other day that’s right on par with my journey. I highly recommend it. “Hungry for Change” It’s on Netflix right now. I’ve recommended it to so many people. I am trying not to talk about weight loss, paleo, or that documentary too much. I find people don’t want this type of information thrown into their faces. They will ask when they are ready. I must remember this. I don’t want be that person that is pushing all of this stuff. Besides, I REALLY want my results to be what sells them onto this healthier lifestyle. So I am doing it for myself, number one. (Losing weight and becoming healthier) but number 2, I feel like I am doing it for everyone else that has every struggled so much with this.
I’ve struggled so much with it. I’ve been overweight for a long time now. It’s time it comes off. And all that I’ve been reading and watching… it doesn’t have to be as hard as some of make it on ourselves. We aren’t stupid. There’s nothing wrong with us. We’ve been taught the wrong things. We have to learn to eat properly again. And learn what to cut out. And what to eat lots of. There’s no reason to feel hungry. We need the right foods to fuel our bodies!