Often times my place has been a disaster. So much so that I have to make sure no one drops by unexpectedly.
I’ve canceled plans because of not feeling like I could get it all done before someone came over. It’s made me feel overwhelmed.
When it’s clean and organized I feel amazing. I have yet to keep it that way.
I have very rarely had my entire place clean and organized at the same time. There’s always a room or closest or cubboard or drawer (all of these or a couple of these at once) that’s off limits hiding the stuff I don’t know what to do with or don’t feel like going through. Much like the Monica closet on friends. 😂
I feel like this an outward display of what’s going on with me inside. I’m busy hurrying up and hiding the parts that aren’t healed, instead of taking the time to heal those parts. That way I have nothing to hide from anyone.
I feel like my weight personally, is the same thing. Its a complex accumulation of things I’m not dealing with, don’t know how to deal with, or don’t even realize there are certain things need to be dealt with.
I am absolutely not trying to offend any one. These my own thoughts that I have had about my own self.
Back to organzing, cleaning, and throwing out things.