One Day, 741 Carbs & 119g Sugar

A Typical “Cheat” Day, by GypsyWild.

P.S. Sometimes there could be 2 doughnuts or 2-3 beers, etc.

P.S.S.  Sometimes I would have more than one of these cheat days in a week.

P.S.S. I am sticking to around 16 carbs a day now and no sugar.

A Bag Of Doritos
1800 calories
204g carbs
12g sugar
2160mg sodium
96g fat

Jar Of Creamy Spinach Dip
650 calories
60g fat
3000mg sodium
30g carbs
10g sugar

A Frozen Pizza
2500 calories
90g fat
40g saturated fat
5200mg sodium
280g carbs
30g sugar

Doughnut, Chocolate Frosted
280 calories
16g fat
340mg sodium
34g carbs
14g sugar

Candy bar
280 calories
14g fat
140mg sodium
35g carbs
30g sugar

Beer
20 calories
4g carbs
4g sugar

Bottle of red wine
635 calories
30mg sodium
20g carbs

Big Breakfast With Hot Cakes, Fast food
1090 calories
56g fat
2150mg sodium
111g carbs
17g sugar

Breakfast Burrito, Fast Food
290 calories
15g fat
800mg sodium
26g carbs
2g sugar

I started thinking back to my, “cheat” days. I decided to look up the nutritional information. Wow.

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To be honest… confessions of a honest girl

Often times my place has been a disaster. So much so that I have to make sure no one drops by unexpectedly. 

I’ve canceled plans because of not feeling like I could get it all done before someone came over. It’s made me feel overwhelmed.

When it’s clean and organized I feel amazing. I have yet to keep it that way. 

I have very rarely had my entire place clean and organized at the same time. There’s always a room or closest or cubboard or drawer (all of these or a couple of these at once) that’s off limits hiding the stuff I don’t know what to do with or don’t feel like going through. Much like the Monica closet on friends. 😂

I feel like this an outward display of what’s going on with me inside. I’m busy hurrying up and hiding the parts that aren’t healed, instead of taking the time to heal those parts. That way I have nothing to hide from anyone.

I feel like my weight personally, is the same thing. Its a complex accumulation of things I’m not dealing with, don’t know how to deal with, or don’t even realize there are certain things need to be dealt with.

I am absolutely not trying to offend any one. These my own thoughts that I have had about my own self.

Back to organzing, cleaning, and throwing out things.

Day 28

Happy Anniversary

WordPress has informed me that it’s been one year since I’ve signed up on here. It would be amazing to report that I have lost all the weight that I set out to lose when I originally started this blog. In my defense my true goal at the time was to heal and grow from an abusive relationship, and then lose weight. I have restarted this blog several times and there have been periods of time where I did not write anything in it. I do believe this is the longest I have kept up with it. I do not have any weight-loss to report at this time. I do think I am down again but nothing significant. I’m still on the yo-yo thing. I’m about where I was a week after I originally restarted this. I hope to report some weight-loss next week. 

My goal is to keep on keeping on. I’m trying not to feel a little bit bogged down by the fact that it has been a year since I started this blog. I really don’t have too much to report on from a year ago other than my ex is now completely out of my life, so actually that is a huge success. There was a lot of off and on BS for a little bit. And I continue to heal. I need to keep focused on the positive things that are happening. This is my journey, no one else’s. Mine might take longer than others, but that doesn’t matter. 

Live, Love, Lessons Learned

My ex… as he found out my weaknesses, would used them all against me. It was the worst feeling in the world loving someone that would do that. I saw this on Facebook and it spawned some flashbacks. Thankful it’s in my past and that I’m learning from it.

Something’s to self care 

At least 4 things that…

I’m thankful for

And 

Positive things about myself 

And to remember 

Today:

Fridays 

Another day to try harder

Clean water

Roof over my head

And 

I deserve respect

I’m important too 

My opinions matter

It’s ok to make mistakes, everyone does

And

Today is another chance at doing my best

I don’t have to tone down my true self

Not everyone will like you, and that’s ok

Don’t focus on the past, be in the present 

Bad tude 

Day 16…

This is what I need to do:


I’ve had such a bad attitude lately.  Still trying to drop old habits. It’s time! 

It gets heavy

I’m going to be completely honest, ever since I completely put my last relationship and contact with my ex in the past and behind me a couple months ago, I’ve been struggling. I lost some friendships and apparently, and well obviously to some, you can’t just snap you’re fingers and get that all back and make everything ok, happy, and smooth again. It’s been a struggle every step of the way. I was so low today I had the urge to contact him. I won’t. But this is when I’d used to give in, during these weak moments. He was always there for me. Mentally and physically abusive, but there for me. I am completely aware of how that sounds. My close friends don’t live near, the ones that do have full families, married and kids, I don’t have these things. I am not close with my family. We don’t call and talk on the phone. Any contact is because I initiate it. I literally have myself to depend on and that is all most of the time lately. I want to be strong, but let’s face it, some days are harder than others and it would be nice to be able to lean on someone to take some of the weight off.

I usually don’t feel this way, I can usually be hopeful and push through, but it’s hard sometimes. It gets heavy.

I lost one of my weight loss buddies. He apparently start dating someone, and lost interest in it/me? Which is weird. I never thought of us as more than anything other than friends.

My other weight loss buddy has been sick and busy with life.

Neither of these two have as much weight to lose as me.

Day 15 – I could have eaten better, but I did get out and move and walk and lift some weights.

 

Summary

If pictures are worth a thousand words… how much are pictures with words worth?

Today, these pictures sum up where I came from, where I am, and where I want to be.

Day 13