I had a realization the other day. Something clicked. That moment made me feel peacefulness, happiness and excitement for the now. I will try to explain…
I will be respectful, but my job is not to make everyone happy. My job is to be my true self. That is so freeing to actually understand this and what it means. What this means to me is having healthy boundaries. It means self care. A healthy sense of self.
It’s a heavy burden trying to please everyone. You can’t! It cannot be done. Scenario that I’ve been through before, probably more times than I care to admit, “I think I said something in a way that offended someone! Now what?” If your intentions are true and good, that’s all that matters. It’s their responsibility to come to you and communicate if it offended them. You can listen to their feelings. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings. If you were malicious, yes you will and probably should feel bad. Just don’t be a jerk. lol.
I can do the things I need, want, and that are good for me. Yes, really! it’s a great feeling, it’s not selfish!. Yes, someone might have an opinion on what they want me to do or think I should do, but in the end I need to do what is good for me and what I need. I don’t need to worry about anything else. As long as it’s not malicious and not with bad intent. Yes, it’s really that simple. Sure, there are different circumstances and situations… but when it comes to your self… that’s when those boundaries kick in. That is when you step up and take care of you.
You can read self help books and see the words that people felt, but actually understanding the connection and feeling that true understanding and wisdom is up to you and takes work. That always frustrated me. I never got that. People would share their experiences and say this or that or give this advice or recommend this book and they were all just words to me until I went through the process. Until I tried, worked hard, (continuing to work hard), and pushed through the pain. I Allowed my mind to open and learn while accepting myself for everything I am, faults and all. That helped me understand all of those pieces are important and what make me. Where those pieces of advice go. This helps me focus on what I want to change and continue to work on.
I am learning to be good to myself. I’m just as important as anyone else, why in the world have I been pushing myself last for so long? Keeping my opinions to myself? Why is his opinion better or more important than mine? Why are her feelings more important than mine? I need to be strong for myself first and for most. True to myself. I deserve it.
I can’t tell you what a tremendous burden has been lifted now that I am beginning to understand all of these pieces and how they fit. The pieces are slowly starting to come together. Those words now mean action to me, helping me move positive changes into my life.
I am getting it.