nutshell

I made a beautiful smoothie for breakfast/lunch today. I never know if I am going to have it for breakfast or lunch at the time I make it but, I know it’s one or the other. Anyway, I had it around lunchtime today and felt amazing immediately afterwards! And then… I got sick again. Same thing that happened to me the two other times after drinking a smoothie. I thought I had it narrowed down to, too much flaxseed, however today there was no flaxseed. As I was thinking through the ingredients I realized there were no same ingredients that I have used before… other than this particular mixed bag of frozen fruit. I had an inkling to stay away from it this morning, but I really needed some frozen fruit mixed in with the other fruit. I think that frozen bag of fruit is bad! It’s like peaches, strawberries, and pineapples. Maybe someone grabbed that bag at the store at some point in time and changed their mind, only to leave it outside the freezer until it thawed and then someone else tossed it back in. Or it’s just bad fruit. Maybe the company didn’t wash it before they froze it. There are so many questions. I am going to toss them out though. I feel better now, but DAMN it really knocks me down a few pegs… I was not feeling well at all.

Once I started feeling better I immediately wanted to eat. Thats my life in a nutshell. Happy? HUNGRY! Sad? HUNGRY! Sick? Usually still Hungry, except like today when it was making me want to throw up. Feel better after being sick? HUNGRY! Happy I am no longer sick? Let’s celebrate by eating! HA. Seriously though, the cravings for bad food kicked into high gear. I wanted chicken nuggets, even though ew, so gross. But I imagined dipping them in lots of sweet and sour sauce. Then I was like spaghetti, because spaghetti is always amazing. Then I made myself take a shower to simmer down and distract me. And here I am. Cravings have left me a bit, but it’s hard. Losing weight, getting healthy, not stuffing your face all the time when that’s what you do, it’s really difficult sometimes. You have to be strong. I don’t know why, but I feel the need to explain it. I know there’s some people that will never understand it, and lucky you! It’s a real problem for me. There’s no off button. There’s either holy sh!t I have to hold myself back, or there’s the F@#k it mode, aka EAT anything and everything cuz F*&k it! And then feel horrible for doing it.

So I love food. Ha. Duh! Right? It is so amazing though. Like, why does it have to be so good? Dammit! But, food is fuel. You are what you eat. It matters. Mentally and Physically, I really believe that it plays a pretty big part in all of that.

Day 9.

Here we go, Day 1 (again, but for real this time)

Day 1.

Got sick today while at work and had to come home. Came home to a sick dog that I had to clean up after while not feeling well myself.  So that was fun. I was dealing with some pretty horrible stomach issues. Now that is gone, but I am left with a horrendous headache. No working out today due to events that unfolded that I explained above. I did eat pretty decently. I didn’t go grocery shopping yet, so that is a bummer. I do have a few healthy things on hand so I had a smoothie for breakfast, then breakfast for lunch and then some more breakfast for dinner. That means sausage and eggs in this case.

You know, a person doesn’t realize how many food commercials there really are while you are watching TV until you start watching what you eat.  It’s craziness! And it’s advertising for bad, naughty, horrible for you, foods! I think that should be a major concern for this society. We are all so concerned with obesity in this nation, yet we consistently use trickery in advertisements trying to convince people they need to, “Eat this, and eat that! Look how amazing this is! It is SO good! Eat, eat, eat!” It’s like we are against ourselves.

This reminds me of something I saw the other day. I will dig it out and share it here.

Here it is:

keytoeating

Truth. So much truth. I really, REALLY, really want to lose this extra weight. I want to get really real about it. I have been in this fight for a really, really, REALLY, long time. I am ready to win this battle.

I gained weight, lost some, but gained back more, only to lose a little, then gain it back, and then gain more back. Oh and then lose a little, gain it back, lose it, gain it back. You get the idea. I am not sure that is really accurate. It might be many more instances of that yo-yoing weight loss/gain that actually took place for me. IT. GETS. OLD.

I have a friend that is starting this week off with me and getting healthy, cheering each other on. I have another friend that we are betting who can lose 20 pounds in two months, but yet we are still cheering for each other. I WANT TO WIN :D! It all started this morning.

Here is to keep on keeping on. peace