My entire place is almost 100% clean and organized. Just a few more boxes to go through and a trip or two to drop donations off. I have to admit it’s feeling pretty good. Weight loss? Not so much yet. I feel it’s coming. All of these things I’m doing to work on myself to grow, heal, and all that… it’s all coming into an alignment. I feel it’s all coming together. It’s interconnected and intertwined and all that. But I’ll be coming out renewed and awesome on the other side.
I didn’t forget…
I’m still here…
I haven’t felt like posting…
I’m struggle on this weight loss thing, but I’ll get there.
Until next time…
Spare bedroom … getting there
Garage … getting there
The rest of my place is there!
Now to keep it that way.
I feel as though I’m finally growing up… I don’t feel my age. Never have, never will. I don’t act it. And I don’t look it. It’s always taken me a little longer. Like this adulting thing. I think I might be getting the hang of it. Ya, I’m in my 30s, what? 😂
Speaking of being in my 30s… wtf? Why is time going by so fast? And it keeps going by faster, seriously. And you under 30 year olds, even under 20 year olds… 30 something isn’t as old as you think. I don’t feel old. I don’t feel any different. Lol 😂 but, I don’t wish I was younger. I am good right where I’m at. I wouldn’t go back and do any of it over. It was tough. Growing mentally. Wow, I sure thought I knew it all, or at least enough when I was younger. I’m realizing I didn’t and still don’t know it all, not even close. I was in such a hurry to go, go, go. I learned a lot of things the hard way. I wouldn’t change any of it because it help make me who I am.
One piece of advice I’d offer to anyone that might listen, is really keep an open mind when someone older offers you advice, they have been where you are at one time. I would usually let it all go in one ear and out the other. I am trying to really listen and absorb any advice or wisdom 😉 I have nephews and a niece and I pick up the vibe that they don’t think I have good, relatable advice. I’m trying to figure out how to be who I needed when I was their age, but I find myself lecturing more than anything and that’s not what I’m intending, lol. And I feel for them. They are all pretty much teenagers. Those years are hard! Maybe not for everyone? But for me, very hard.
Often times my place has been a disaster. So much so that I have to make sure no one drops by unexpectedly.
I’ve canceled plans because of not feeling like I could get it all done before someone came over. It’s made me feel overwhelmed.
When it’s clean and organized I feel amazing. I have yet to keep it that way.
I have very rarely had my entire place clean and organized at the same time. There’s always a room or closest or cubboard or drawer (all of these or a couple of these at once) that’s off limits hiding the stuff I don’t know what to do with or don’t feel like going through. Much like the Monica closet on friends. 😂
I feel like this an outward display of what’s going on with me inside. I’m busy hurrying up and hiding the parts that aren’t healed, instead of taking the time to heal those parts. That way I have nothing to hide from anyone.
I feel like my weight personally, is the same thing. Its a complex accumulation of things I’m not dealing with, don’t know how to deal with, or don’t even realize there are certain things need to be dealt with.
I am absolutely not trying to offend any one. These my own thoughts that I have had about my own self.
Back to organzing, cleaning, and throwing out things.
WordPress has informed me that it’s been one year since I’ve signed up on here. It would be amazing to report that I have lost all the weight that I set out to lose when I originally started this blog. In my defense my true goal at the time was to heal and grow from an abusive relationship, and then lose weight. I have restarted this blog several times and there have been periods of time where I did not write anything in it. I do believe this is the longest I have kept up with it. I do not have any weight-loss to report at this time. I do think I am down again but nothing significant. I’m still on the yo-yo thing. I’m about where I was a week after I originally restarted this. I hope to report some weight-loss next week.
My goal is to keep on keeping on. I’m trying not to feel a little bit bogged down by the fact that it has been a year since I started this blog. I really don’t have too much to report on from a year ago other than my ex is now completely out of my life, so actually that is a huge success. There was a lot of off and on BS for a little bit. And I continue to heal. I need to keep focused on the positive things that are happening. This is my journey, no one else’s. Mine might take longer than others, but that doesn’t matter.
My ex… as he found out my weaknesses, would used them all against me. It was the worst feeling in the world loving someone that would do that. I saw this on Facebook and it spawned some flashbacks. Thankful it’s in my past and that I’m learning from it.
At least 4 things that…
I’m thankful for
Positive things about myself
And to remember
Another day to try harder
Roof over my head
I deserve respect
I’m important too
My opinions matter
It’s ok to make mistakes, everyone does
Today is another chance at doing my best
I don’t have to tone down my true self
Not everyone will like you, and that’s ok
Don’t focus on the past, be in the present